Amanda McMillen, “In on the Joke”
Do you ever feel left out of something? Like everyone else in the room knows what’s going on, except you? Maybe everyone’s laughing at a joke someone just made and you didn’t really hear it or just don’t get it, so you chuckle along anyways and hope no one notices that you obviously don’t get it. My husband Brian is very tall and he sometimes has trouble hearing people in a crowded room because he’s literally a foot above them, like a plane going by, and has to stoop down to catch the tail end of a joke.
A recent study of social psychology, with one researcher coming from our own UVA, found that the reason for laughter among two strangers in a conversation is generally not as simple as one person saying something funny and another responding appropriately with laughter. When that happens, two people might feel similar to one another in thinking that the same thing is funny, which then increases feelings of enjoyment and camaraderie. But what this study found is that increased laughter among strangers can actually be a signal of lesser enjoyment of a conversation, as a person laughs perhaps to assuage their feelings of discomfort at having a conversation with a stranger in the first place. Laughter is often used as a social tool, to help someone seem more relatable, rather than as an straightforward indicator of enjoyment of a conversation. All of that to say, if everyone around you in a group is laughing and you don’t get the joke, the people who are laughing may also not get the joke - laughter is contagious, but not always for sincere reasons. We’re all feeling a little bit left out and awkward, all the time.
Our Gospel reading today is of the infamous “Doubting Thomas” who didn’t believe the disciples after they had seen the resurrected Jesus, and insisted on seeing the mark of nails in his hands and putting his finger in the wound in Christ’s side in order to believe. Everyone around Thomas was there when the resurrected Jesus first arrived, everyone around Thomas is in on the joke that is the glorious resurrection, but Thomas missed the punchline.
I don’t know about you, but I think “Doubting Thomas” is one of the most relatable bible characters that we have. First of all, he just barely missed Jesus. It’s like if it was your first Sunday ever at Christ Church and you were circling the church looking for a parking spot - you know, hypothetically speaking - and you missed the first half of the service. You finally make your way in, find a seat, and you have no idea what’s going on - and now we’re standing, we’re sitting, we’re kneeling, and now we’re singing, and now we’re doing some call and response and now we’re hugging each other you’re like - how does everyone know what to do, and more importantly, how did everyone get here on time? Did they walk here? Did they take a 20 passenger van and carpool? Maybe you’ve shown up and you’re feeling a little bit on the outside of the joke, looking in.
Well Thomas is on the outside of the joke. He knows that Jesus was crucified, and now the disciples are saying that he has resurrected from the dead, and he doesn’t get it. He, quite understandably, considering the miracle that is resurrection, doubts the disciples’ testimony. But instead of just going along with the joke, instead of pretending to be in the know, like so many of us do in awkward conversations with strangers, Thomas demands answers. He says “Unless I see the mark of the nails in his hands, and put my finger in the mark of the nails and my hand in his side, I will not believe."
Doubting Thomas is such a relatable disciple because doubt is so human. Doubt is common in the life of faith, but let me also be clear that doesn’t mean that doubt is inherently good. It might be an inevitable part of the life of faith, but doubt is painful. And the Bible agrees. Proverbs 3 says, “Trust in the Lord with all your heart, and do not lean on your own understanding. In all your ways acknowledge him, and he will make straight your paths…It will be healing to your flesh and refreshment to your bones.” In the letter of James he writes, “the one who doubts is like a wave of the sea that is driven and tossed by the wind.” God does not wish for us to feel like a wave of the sea, driven and tossed by the wind. God wants healing for our flesh and refreshment to our bones as we trust wholeheartedly in the Lord, and to know that I am a creature, God is my creator, and there is no one better to put my trust in. But of course, all of us have doubts in our lives of faith. To be human is to feel sometimes like that wave of the sea, driven and tossed by the wind.
Doubt also goes hand in hand with fear. Thomas and the disciples are afraid, they have locked their doors for fear of those who crucified Jesus, that they might be found as his followers and be crucified themselves! They are afraid for their future. And what does Jesus say first to the group of disciples, and then later to Thomas, in the midst of their fear and doubt? He says, “Peace be with you”. When faced with fear of the unknown, when faced with doubt that Jesus really was who he said he was, that Jesus really did resurrect from the dead, that all their hopes are not completely dashed, Jesus gives them what they need. He shows them his wounds - this really did happen, I really did die - and he reassures them that he is actually physically present with them, and says “Peace be with you”. It’s all true, but I am here. And that changes everything.
I love this picture of Jesus, because it shows us that he isn’t insecure in his divinity. He doesn’t need the disciples to believe without seeing him physically resurrected. He doesn’t need them to trust him on word alone. He knows that they need some proof if they’re gonna start spreading the news of his resurrection. He gives them peace in their fears, he gives them reassurance, and he gives them hope for the future. He gives them exactly what they need at that moment. First to the larger group of disciples, and later to Thomas.
There is an instagram account, from a woman in Canada, who cleans houses for free, for people specifically who are experiencing debilitating depression, and can’t manage to clean their homes. Boxes and bags of trash are piled in every corner of these homes. The sinks, the toilets, the showers, the counters, are filthy and covered in trash and old food. There are bug infestations. It has gotten completely out of control. And this woman comes in and cleans all of it. In one video, she addresses some who comment on her videos and say that she is enabling these people to be lazy, that she is allowing them to live in filth and not take accountability for their homes. And to that she explains first how depression works, the ways it robs you of initiative and momentum, and she says that sometimes she goes to the same houses over and over again. She says “I go into these free cleanings with no judgment and no expectation…I never expect a house to stay clean just because I’ve come in.” They have not learned a lesson, and they have not been healed of their depression, which robs their energy. But they need a clean house. Desperately. So she continues to clean, for free. Over and over again.
This is what God does for us. This is grace. God gives us exactly what we need. We do not deserve it. We did not work for it. When the disciples are in desperate need of proof of Jesus’ resurrection, he just gives it to them. He gives them what they need. And he does it again and again. Some call grace enabling, like the woman cleaning houses for free over and over again. But to God, grace is the way to the human heart.
Thomas says to Jesus, that he will not believe until he puts his fingers in his wounds, until he knows that this man in front of him really was crucified, and really has returned to life. But I think it’s interesting that the text doesn’t say that Thomas did do that. We could imply that he did. You may have the Carravagio painting in the back of your mind, of Thomas’ finger going into Jesus’ side. But it seems rather, that Thomas stated his needs for faith, and Jesus replied with a word of reassurance and power, which brought about Thomas’ faith. First reassurance: Go ahead, put your finger in my side if you wish. I have nothing to hide from you. And then a word of power: Do not doubt, but believe.
It is after Jesus tells him right then to believe, that Thomas makes what is considered to be the highest Christological statement in all four Gospels, meaning this person who is colloquially called “Doubting Thomas”, with greater faith than all the disciples, communicates Jesus’ divine nature. “My Lord and my God!”
If Jesus would die for us, then he will do everything in his power to lead us to belief in him. It reminds me of one of my favorite verses in all of Scripture from John which we read a few weeks ago in church. Jesus says, “I, when I am lifted up, will draw all people to myself.” Jesus says to Thomas, “do not doubt, but believe” - by his very words, Jesus creates the faith in us that we need. He later says “Blessed are those who have not seen and yet have come to believe.” Thanks be to God, we who have not seen are given the faith that we need.
Perhaps you have doubts today about Jesus' resurrection. Or more broadly, perhaps you have doubt that everything is really going to be okay - you are struggling with fear of the future, rather than faith in God’s promises of new life for you. Maybe you doubt that God really can give you the peace that he offered to Thomas. We do not have Jesus here today to stick our fingers in his wounds. And it’s a terrible feeling to experience doubt - but God is familiar with it. It’s been around since the very first day of Jesus’ resurrection.
And we, like Thomas, missed that moment when Jesus first appeared bodily after his resurrection, before he ascended into heaven, and we might feel a bit on the outside of the joke, like we missed the resurrection punchline. Is it really all true? Well let me say this to you, in the name of Jesus, the only name I can say any of this in: Peace be with you. Christ is risen, Alleluia. Everything is going to be okay. Yes, it’s all true. Amen.
