Paul Walker “Forgiving the Yips and Twisties”

 Recently, there has been a lot of talk about the Yips. What are the Yips? The Yips are a sudden inability to perform a tried and true athletic move: a putt, or a pitch, say. Or in Olympic gymnast Simone Biles’ famous case, it’s called the Twisties. A Washington Post reporter said, “When gymnasts have the “Twisties,” they lose control of their bodies as they spin through the air … And after experiencing the Twisties once, it’s very difficult to forget. Instinct gets replaced by thought. Thought quickly leads to worry. Worry is difficult to escape.”

     Biles has been the subject of intense scrutiny, with everyone offering an opinion on her situation. Biles herself said, “It was something that was so out of my control…. We’re not just entertainment, we’re humans. And there are things going on behind the scenes that we’re also trying to juggle with as well, on top of sports.”

      As I said, a lot of people have a lot to say about people with the yips or twisties or other issues that seem to reside between the ears. Buck up, muscle through, get over it, etc. A lot of judgment. But here’s the thing. The Yips and the Twisties are not just athletic problems. They are human problems. Yips and Twisties are just names for whatever it is that you can’t control. 

      Instinct gets replaced by thought. Thought quickly leads to worry. Worry is difficult to escape. I had a friend who could not drive over bridges. She would drive 200 extra miles to avoid a 200 yard bridge. I have extreme difficulty going into over cluttered antique and second hand stores, the kind my wife likes to go in. I want to smash all the bric-a-brac up with a baseball bat. Consequently, I spend a lot of time waiting in the car.

     What about you? What are your Yips and Twisties? What can’t you control? Sometimes I like to imagine a church where we’re all honest and upfront about our Yips and Twisties. What if we had a giant white board set up in the center aisle where we all wrote down our Yips and Twisties, with our names attached?  What if during the Confession of Sin, we stopped at the “things done and left undone” sentence and asked for out loud examples? Would there be anyone left to cast a stone across a pew?

     In his letter to the Ephesians, St. Paul offers us a different way to deal with Yips and Twisties and the concomitant judgment all around.  He says, “Put away from you all bitterness and wrath and anger and wrangling and slander, together with all malice, and be kind to one another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, as God in Christ has forgiven you.” 

     Be kind to one another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, as God in Christ has forgiven you. This summer seems to be wedding season. Weddings that are now able to happen after the pandemic restrictions, as well as Round 2 weddings from last summer – under 10 gatherings, that are now over 300 renewal of vows services.

     If you happen to go to a non-traditional wedding, maybe officiated by a Universal Life Minister or a friend deputized for the day, you are likely to hear the couple talk about sharing a great adventure together, or challenging each other to bring out the best in each partner, or relying on the love they feel deep in their hearts for one another. 

     Weddings at Christ Church take a much less sanguine view of human nature; a much more biblical view. We talk about the inherent difficulty in 2 people riddled with Yips and Twisties vowing to truly love one another until death do them part. To that end, we talk about the need for radical acceptance of one another – accepting all the flaws in your spouse. Realizing that the things in him you want to change are probably not going to change. Realizing that the things in her you don’t want to change will probably change.

     But then we dive deeper than radical acceptance. Acceptance you might hear about at a Universal Life wedding. But you probably won’t hear about forgiveness – at least not in the way we talk about it. And not in the way that St. Paul talks about it in Ephesians. Because in order to really accept another person, you have to forgive them. Not just forgive them for leaving the toilet seat up or running up the credit card. Or even an act of unfaithfulness.

     The forgiveness we are talking about is forgiving the other person for being another person! In other words – not being you. For having their own unique set of Yips and Twisties – that is the things that just can’t control. Forgiving the other for being male. Forgiving the other for being female. Forgiving the other for being human.  It doesn’t sound very Bride’s Big Day like, does it? Not very romantic. But you would be surprised at how many people, when they are 2 drinks in at the reception, come up to us and ask how we got into their bedroom.

     “Put away from you all bitterness and wrath and anger and wrangling and slander, together with all malice, and be kind to one another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another.” I’ve been talking about marriage, but of course Paul isn’t referring just to marriage. He’s talking about any relationship: parents and children, brothers and sisters, roommates, workmates, neighbors. Even enemies! Maybe especially enemies.

     You might ask how the heck it is possible to do all this forgiving? Especially when there is real hurt, real offense. So, I’m not going to pretend that I have key to wrap everything up in a neat bow. But I will say, when real forgiveness happens it happens when the last part of Paul’s sentence is truly taken to heart – forgiving one another as God in Christ has forgiven you.”

     All those Yips and Twisties you put up on the white board? Erased. All those sins – even the deep and dark ones you called out during the confession? Not only does God not keep track of them, He can’t even remember them. Why? Well, as Paul concludes the passage – on the cross, Christ loved us and gave himself up for us, an offering and sacrifice to God.

     Amen.