Paul Walker, “The Two Fires”

John 21

Let’s talk about fires. We are moving out of fire season, although we’ve had some chilly nights and mornings recently. I miss wood fires burning in the fire place or the woodstove during the warm summer months.

You have your own set of pleasures and satisfactions in life. One of mine is splitting wood. The heft and explosive force of the axe with its clean sweep through the center of the log, the nose of the blade nestled snugly into the chopping block, the oak or ash or walnut or poplar bifurcated and sent airborne, the heartening ascent of the carefully stacked woodpile, the promise of a cheering fire, with novel and a dram of whisky perhaps, and the pleasant muscular ache of a job completed.

But at least now we can move to charcoal fires. We ditched the gas grill recently for a charcoal grill, now that grilling season is soon to be upon us. It seems to be grilling season in our gospel reading from today. We are in the weeks after the resurrection. Jesus has already appeared to the disciples twice, both times in the same locked room, huddled away in fear. 

They seem to be getting on with life now. Peter and the disciples decide to go fishing. They fish all night and catch nothing. This should ring a bell. Way early on in Jesus’ ministry he commandeered Peter’s boat and ordered him to go back out after Peter had fished all night and caught nothing. That first time, Peter was reluctant to give it a whirl. Yet, sure enough, they caught so many fish that he had to call another boat over to hold all the fish.

Same deal in this episode. Jesus is standing on the beach and yells to them, "Cast the net to the right side of the boat, and you will find some."  They are not sure who it is. They were a football field away, so they might not have had a good view. Or Jesus seems to be hard to recognize in his resurrection body. But they cast the net, and not only did they find some, but the bible says “they were not able to haul it in because there were so many fish.”  Well, that gives Jesus away. Only He could make that haul of fish happen. They’ve learned that much.

Peter does a curious thing then. He dives off the boat into the sea – after putting his clothes on (interesting) – and swims to the shore, leaving his compatriots to deal with the haul of fish. Why would he do that? Well, that has to do with fires. Jesus was standing on the beach tending to a charcoal fire. The Greek word for this fire is anthrakian. There is only one other time when that Greek word is used in the New Testament. When do you think that is?

Several weeks before this scene, Peter stood warming himself by a charcoal fire. His Lord had just been betrayed with a kiss and apprehended by the authorities. Peter and all his mates fled the scene, but Peter followed Jesus at a distance. While he was standing by the fire, he was asked the same question 3 different times in 3 different ways.

“Hey – I can tell by your accent – you knew Jesus didn’t you?” “I think I recognize you – you were one of those with Jesus, weren’t you?” “What about you? You were a disciple of his, weren’t you?” In the scripture, the questions were really accusations made by a servant girl, and two others.”   What were Peter’s responses? “Woman, I do not know him.” “Man, I am not!” “Man, I do not know what you are talking about!”

3 questions, 3 denials. Then, while he was standing by that charcoal fire, the scripture says “the Lord turned and looked at Peter. And Peter remembered the saying of the Lord, how he had said to him, “Before the rooster crows today, you will deny me three times.” And he went out and wept bitterly.”

So that’s why Peter leapt of the boat to swim to Jesus. He had been with Jesus twice since his threefold denial, but must have hung his head in shame or fear. You know what it is like to be with someone that you have hurt or wronged. You are at war with yourself. One part of you wants to bring it out in the open and address it. You are dying for forgiveness and restoration. But the other part of you is so afraid, so steeped in shame and guilt that you just want to avoid any kind of confrontation with the truth.

I know that’s how I felt when I was 19 and driving recklessly with my best friend, Drew, in the back of my car. We crashed into a boulder on the side of the road and were taken to the hospital. He lost his right eye because of me, this guy that I loved like a brother. I knew I needed to go into his hospital room to talk to him, but I was scared to death and drowning in shame and guilt.

I’m sure, since you are human beings, you have your own versions of this, perhaps not as dramatic or consequential. But perhaps so, because life is full of hurt and blame and guilt and wrong-doing. This is clearly where we find Peter this morning. So, let’s help him out and get to the second charcoal fire. Jesus is standing by that fire this time, cooking a fish breakfast for his disciples, whom he calls “children”.

After breakfast, Jesus singles out his wayward child. Apparently, Peter, though he swam to be with Jesus, gets cold feet. His shame overwhelms him and he just stood looking at his feet instead of into his Lord’s eyes. So, Jesus, as he always does, takes the initiative. In direct response to the first charcoal fire, Jesus turns again and looks at Peter. 3 times he asks Peter, “Do you love me?” 

Let’s be clear. Jesus does this not as a test, of course. He does it to allow Peter to say “Yes, Lord.” He does it to address and heal each of Peter’s 3 denials by that first charcoal fire. Much the same way that Drew, when I finally worked up the courage to walk into his hospital room, looking at my feet to avoid the patch on his right eye, heard Drew say to me, “Paul – I love you. I forgive you.”

You’ve probably heard the term “fall from grace.” When somebody does something irreparably wrong, they “fall from grace.” Nothing could be farther from the truth. When we do wrong is exactly when we fall into grace.  For the Lord turns and looks at you with nothing but love.

Amen.